Sunday, June 21, 2015

Pater Familia

One of my all time favorite blog posts was the one I did for my father on Father's day four years ago, when this blog was in its infancy.

I was so content with it, that I haven't even so much as attempted a father's day post since.  Until today.

It feels necessary because this year, I learned a lot about my father. 

I learned just how much he would sacrifice for his children and for his family.  

My father spent every waking moment in the hospital with my brother, John.  He lost sleep, he missed work, and he did so uncomplainingly--even with a bad back on soft foam mattress.

He held my brother John's hand whenever John was scared. He had to be pulled away almost by force from John's bedside.  (Incidentally, I learned that I could only out-stubborn my father by a small margin: I told him that I didn't care what HE was doing but that I was staying.  God, it all seemed so much easier when I was a teenager...)

All of us look up to our father, but I think John did in particular.  When he got sick, he was only at ease when my father was nearby. He trusted, as all of us do, that my father would do everything in his power to protect him.  And he did.

In someways, I wish that every child could be shown the strength of their hero like that.  In other ways, I hope that they never have to.

And as much as I loved my paternal grandfather, I know that he wasn't as good of a father as my dad is to us, which, to me, makes my dad's triumphs as a father all the more impressive.

Next month, my father will be officiating my wedding.  I can't think of anything more perfect than that: the man I respect most in this world, joining my hand in marriage to the only other man that I respect just as much.

I love you, Dad.  And I am so proud to call you my father.


Thursday, June 11, 2015

While the Mose is Away the Mice Will Blog

Alternate title: I don't feel like exercising or washing dishes or cooking dinner, so I will pretend to be productive by blogging

Catchy, I know.  But it is the alternate.

Or the Mallory, if you will.

I really should have identified with her more given that she was also a writer and older sister to many a younger siblings but, what can I say?  I am a Claudia at heart: creative, fashionable, and total flake.

Anyways.

Here I am!  Back for the obligatory bimonthly stoking of this flatten, mostly untended, mordant hologram.  You, sir/or madam, are most welcome!

Speaking of holograms and beloved characters from my childhood... have you seen the new trailer for JEM and the Holograms movie?  It looks really good.  PSYCHE.  It looks like THE worst.  And yes, people are still saying psyche as evidence by the fact that I just said it.  Duh.

Perhaps if Christopher Nolan were to direct it, we would get the gritty JEM origin story that we've all been waiting for, but full many a flower is born to blush unseen, I suppose.

As you can probably gather from the title of this post, Moses was away recently at a conference.  He's back now, thank god.  Because the trash reeeally needed to be taken out.  Ha! Psyche again! I took out the trash, all by my lonesome.  My medal should be arriving in 2-4 weeks.  Along with whatever I ordered from Old Navy because whenever I order from there it literally takes fo-re-ver to get here.  Anyone else have this problem?  Anyone else care?  No?  That's fair...

When Moses was gone I really did try to blog, I swear.  But like so many other times that I sit down to write, I was immediately paralyzed by blankness: who am I?  What I am doing here?  What the hell do I have to say?  You know.  The usual existential crises that plague bloggers.  Because clearly I am blogger first!  Haven't you seen my four posts this year?

So my sister and I (somewhat) impulsively decided to skip town and head to my parents house in Ithaca.

We had the loveliest time.

I did have to drive through a thunderstorm twice on the way there AND back and had forgotten just how scary braving a highway three inches deep in rain can be but...worth it!

Sure it probably aged me a few years but maybe I will get unnecessarily carded less.  Or the well meaning pharmacist at the CVS by house will stop commenting on my baby face, which I am now convinced is a veiled attempt to tell me my face looks fat.  Glass. Half. Full!  Always.

But seriously, it was great to see my family.  It was great to see my parents busy and happy.  It was great to got out to dinner and breakfast with my siblings and laugh and joke like we used to.


Sorry for the blurriness, but I guess that's what you get when you
 solicit giggly drunk girls to take you and your siblings' photo...

I love the dripping egg.

Believe it or not, he actually posed for this photo.
Part of a complete breakfast!
Being together has taken on such a new significance now.  It feels like we are honoring John whenever we do.

It also feels weirdly important because of how soon it is before my wedding.  Like a last hurrah of sorts.  But that's silly because nothing is really going to change.  I've already prepared myself for how very un-different married life will be after eleven years of coupledom.  Also, I will probably see all of my siblings again before I get married.  So seriously Kozak, wtf?

Well, for whatever reason, this time feels sort of sacred.  And I am grateful for it.

Also, I can't seem to stop eating donuts and drinking beer despite vague vows to cut back on sugar before the wedding.  But my desire to be super model thin is trumped by my desire to not be miserable.  Always always always.

Honestly, if I could look at a photograph from my wedding and see the bacon maple donut I ate two weeks previously,  I would be happy.  What a beautiful memory to immortalize!

Now off I go to finish my Ithaca beer and read some more Harry Potter before bed. This life of mine! #blessed

Or #uneventful?

You decide.