Wednesday, July 23, 2014

A Point of Contention

When Moses and I moved to Boston from LA--by the way, did you know that we did that?  It's not like I've been talking about it endlessly--anyways, as I was saying, when Moses and I moved to Boston from LA, we downsized considerably in terms of furniture.  A lot of the pieces we had previously were on loan from Moses' Aunt Linda or weren't nice enough to justify the $50--or however much it was after we crunched the numbers---to ship them across country with the rest our stuff.  And by "we," I mean Moses because when I try to crunch numbers, the inside of my head looks like this:

But I have other talents, to be sure.  Like decorating. But I am getting ahead of myself. So, as you can imagine, after the purge--not The Purge starring Ethan Hawk.  I know it's confusing.  Five points to Gryffindor for that obscure reference. BOOM, suck on that Hufflepuff! Anyways, after the purge, we now find ourselves in the market for some new furniture. And since our furniture didn't arrive until, oh, say this past Sunday (and for those of you counting, that's nearly four weeks after they picked our stuff up from our former apartment), we didn't really know how much space we were working with, making the selection of new items to replace the old ones fairly tricky.  Our new place also has hardwood floors (our old place was carpeted--I know, we were total plebeians) so in addition to furniture, we are on the hunt for some area rugs.

Now before I go any further and we actually get to the meat of this narrative (but who wants that, right?), there is one thing that you should know about me and Moses: we are both terribly picky when it comes to aesthetics.  Por ejemplo, I once dragged my sister all around a huge mall in Syracuse NY to find a pair of black mary jane shoes before I knew what mary janes actually were.  I had an idea in my head of what I wanted and son of a mother, if I wasn't going to find them and make them mine! (As in buy them not woo them...)

Moses is remarkably similar.  When we go clothes shopping for him, phrases like "I think that blue is a little too blue" can be heard by unsuspecting passersby, as well as utterances such as "I like this shirt except for the weird flaps of fabric on the shoulder." Um, do you mean shoulder straps?  Because they are relatively common...but clearly I am in no position to judge because, see above.  Obviously, we are pretty particular about the way things look. This might be considered a valuable trait in some circles, but not in any of the circles we run in or wish to run in.  Circles?  Honestly!  You start rereading Pride and Prejudice and suddenly you're writing like someone straight out of the early 19th century gentry...

Although I knew Moses and I were both pretty specific about what we wanted, I didn't anticipate it being this hard for us to agree on matters of home furnishings.  Naive of me?  No. Just plain stupid of me? Probably...

Take, for instance, this little number:

Charming, pleasant, and a good size but, according to Moses, "it looks like something that would be inside the house of a 80 year old woman who has a lot of cats."  I am not sure why the cat detail was necessary but somehow it was and we discussed the purchase of this item at length. I believe I may or may not have said at some point "why won't you just let me have my way" but, in the end, we opted for another tv cabinet.  One that we could both (relatively) agree upon and that I would argue, looks more masculine.  But what are you going to do? #patriarchy.

I still don't get it.  To me, this was perfect and fit perfectly in the aesthetic I was trying to cultivate in our living room and I was honestly flabbergasted when Moses objected to it as vehemently as he did.  We disagree on things so rarely that it felt like some sort of strange anomaly.  That is, until I showed Moses this rug:

With this rug, it was love at first sight. It was the exact color scheme that I wanted and its reviews boasted both of its fashion and of its comfort.  I almost purchased it on the spot but then I thought: I should probably just run this by Moses. BIG MISTAKE.  Moses vetoed it within moments of looking at it and another lengthy conversation peppered by "you're being so unreasonable" (uttered by both parties) ensued.

The only other time that I can recollect us being at such odds about something is when we were shopping for plates.  I desperately wanted to get set of plates with birds on them and Moses wanted something plainer. We had a pretty heated argument in Target.  Is there any other kind of argument to have in Target?  Am I right?

I promise I will stop using Liz Lemon gifs...never.

Needless to say, we ended up leaving bird plates-less that day but Moses later surprised me with them as a gift that Christmas.  I doubt that will be the case this time...

I thought that by giving Moses free range to decorate the study-- which is quickly transforming into a man cave of sorts--meant that I could assume nearly total control of the living room but such has not been the case.

And if you agree with Moses about any of this--if you think the tv media cabinet looks like a senior citizen's dream and the carpet a 70's shag nightmare--I don't want to hear about it.  And so help me if any one leaves a comment to that effect, I will be MOST displeased.

I know relationships are all about compromise but why do I always have to compromise when Moses pretty much always gets his way in one form or another. [Actual facts behind this statement pending.]

And so the redecorating process goes: slowly and not wholly devoid of strife.

To be continued.


But probably not.

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