Sunday, June 9, 2013

A list of things I totally didn't do this weekend...

1. Got nostalgic and watched episodes of the 1990 Babysitters Club series on Netflix.

2. Went to Time Warner Cable twice in a three hour period.  First to return my cable box.  Then to retrieve my PS-3 power cord that I accidentally returned alongside said cable box.

3. Went to the Forever 21 store close to Time Warner Cable twice in a three hour period.  First to buy a pair of sunglasses. Then to purchase a dress that I had tried on earlier and subsequently couldn't stop thinking about.

4. Did a cardio circuit off of Jillian Michaels' Body Revolution that was described by her as the most "vicious" work out she has ever created.

4. Almost died.

5. Met friends at a fire pit on the beach in Playa Del Rey to watch grunions mate.  (And grunions are fish not mythical trolls, despite what the name suggests.)

6.  Ate two hot dogs, four s'mores, and took sips of wine out of my Kinnect Credit Union water bottle.

7. Witnessed approximately zero grunions mate.

8. Slept with a night light (Moses is out of town at a conference).

9. Checked my closet, pantry, and shower for hiding intruders/rapists/serial killers before bed (see above).

10. Considered watching a documentary about the Manson murders but thought better of it (see above).

11. Went to a local deli and paid $4 for a large americano only to receive a small americano half an hour later.

12. Only asked about my americano, thirty minutes after I ordered and felt so mortified by the whole thing that I almost cried.

13. Read an article about Steve Berry's book The King's Deception, mistook it for work based on a real theory by a real historian but learned, upon further investigation, that it was a DaVinci Code-esque book written by a thriller/mystery novelist.

14. Felt grateful that my natural default is skepticism.

15. Ignored the sunshine that peaked out from behind the clouds around noon and continued to stay indoors while watching movies based on Nicholas Sparks novels and making plans to buy and consume Skinny Girl pre-made cocktails.

Oh, you thought I had shame?  You thought wrong.

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