Sunday, March 24, 2013

Five things you wished I never told you about myself

Well.  Kate has tagged me in her blog for some chain mail-esque list of five things about yourself.  And since this is the second time that she has done something like this (and I prominently ignored the first), I feel that it’s only good sportsmanship to not disregard it this time around.  Plus, I’ve been meaning to post something recently and this provides a nice formula.  Unlike Kate, however, I have no blogger friends except for her, so I will not be tagging anyone in return.  You’re welcome blogging world, although you probably don’t deserve it.

Five Things You May but Probably Don't Know about this Blogger:

1.  I’ve spent most of my adult life hiding my hobbies.  I’m not entirely sure why, I just feel uncomfortable telling people things like: I’m a poet or I’m a singer-songwriter or I'm a guitar player because it makes me feel like I’m…well, twelve and it should be bookended by comments like: my favorite color is purple and my favorite books are the Baby Sitters Club series.

Incidentally, I once tried to form a Baby Sitters Club.  It failed miserably.  We were eight.

If you care to hear one of my songs written and recorded in the fall of 2008, take a listen, or don't and keep scrolling...


Sorry about the sound quality but I don't really know how to work a computer...

2. I'm afraid of everything.  Driving to a place I've never been before: scared.  Literally doing ANYTHING that I haven't done before: scared.  Doing things I have done before but had a less than pleasant experience doing (like going to the dentist): scared.  Being up close to an actual horse: shaking in my boots.  Any sort of paranormal exorcist ghost demon movie: scared enough that I might need to sleep with the lights on for a week or so.  Hiking in the canyons: scared.  (Rattlesnakes.)  Heights: scared.  Clowns: scared.  Strangers speaking to me: petrified. Because I am so frightened of everything, I purposefully try to do things that terrify me because I don't want to live a life governed by fear.  So you'll often catch me offering to hold the boa constrictor at the science center or chatting up the stranger next to me in line or hiking high cliffs chalk full (maybe) of little rattlers or going on the no safety harness check upside down ride at the fair.  Sure I maybe freak out internally but I'm doing that all the time anyways, so why not be brave and experience everything?  Except for when it comes to clowns.  I still steer as far away as possible from them.

3. I have played some of the all time best characters: Indiana Jones, Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, The Rocketeer.  I played all these characters because they are male and my sister would always make me be the boy while she got to play the cool kick ass Princess Leia characters.  Bitter much?  Why, no.

4. I am the meanest kindest person you will ever meet. For those of you who watch Parks and Recreation, think of me as a strange hybrid of Leslie Knope and April Ludgate: I'm equal parts cynic and overachieving optimist.  The cynic, however, is definitely much closer to the surface and often emerges in the form of pure unadulterated sass.  I can't help it.  I've inherited this spunk from both sides of my family, so I didn't really stand a chance at having a dull personality.  

The unfortunate thing about my particular brand of sass is that it often gives people the wrong idea about me.  People think I'm mean, that I am constantly criticizing and berating everyone, that my sarcasm is actual earnest cruelty.  To be fair to the people that think this, my face doesn't help. I've been gifted with the type of face that when not smiling looks angry.  I call it the bitch face.  I also happen to have a good poker face so when I am saying these utterly ridiculous things I look serious. 

But what these people don't realize is that I am actually a big softly.  I cry at everything including (but not limited to) Geiko commercials; I am sympathetic to everyone, to the point that when I was watching Batman cartoons as a child, I would often feel bad for the villains that Batman was beating up because they probably had families and stresses and reasons for being bag guys; if you are my friend, I am fiercely loyal and will do anything I can to help you; if you are not my friend and you are in trouble, I will still do anything I can to help you; and although I don't always succeed, I try my hardest never to say anything mean about someone behind their back.  

So why am I like this?  Good question.  It does seem sort of oxymoronic doesn't it?  But I think everyone's a mess of contradictions and I'm no different.  Sure I maybe slightly judgmental and smug like my polish side and I do a fair amount of teasing, like my father, to show affection, but I am also understanding, patient, and self-sacrificing, like my mother.

I guess this could also be symptomatic of something that I was taught as a child: you don't have to like everyone but you do have to love them.  And I do.  How's that for sappy?  Now go away.

5.  I am dreadfully untraveled and uncultured.  Aside from a few jaunts to Canada, I have never been out of the country.  I do have a passport because in the winter of 2007, Moses won a cruise to the Caribbean.  It turned out that the cruise date just happened to be during finals week, so it was all for nothing and I debated writing many a strongly worded letter to the cruise company for dashing all my dreams.

I actually had never even been on an airplane until I was twenty-one, when I flew down to Madison Wisconsin to visit my sister.  Shocked?  I would think so.

Obviously these aren't things I typically advertise about myself because I feel quite shameful about it--it is yet one more thing for me to add to the list of things to feel self-loathing about.  I assume, however, that I will someday remedy this and then you can start talking to me again.

[Bonus] 6.  Okay, so I didn't really want to end on a downer confession, so I will give you one more factoid about myself that will hopefully be a little less bummer and a little more saccharine and frivolous (just how we like things here at Adventures...)  

There is one feature on my face that I am pretty vain about: my eyes.  They are big and green and, I think, probably the most stunning part of me.  Of course, I can't actually see for shit with them, but that is besides the point.  When I was little, they would change color all the time; now they mostly fluctuate between green and a sometimes bluish green depending on the light and what I'm wearing.

And when my eyes look particularly piercing, I sometimes fancy that I resemble one of the following people:

But in reality, I probably more closely resemble one of these people:

There you have it.  Five things that you probably already knew or didn't want to know about me.  Happy Sunday!

1 comment:

  1. I liked this post so much I read it twice.

    (I also liked your song. You are much more of an alto than I'd expected, and I found it very pleasant, very pleasant indeed.)